>A quick list May 23, 2011

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- I can’t believe its been 16 days since I last posted on this blog. There was a time when I used to post multiple times a week, but at that point, I didn’t have two other blogs that needs some work to be done on it every single day. I think I am ok with this trade-off. Forcing myself to write has never worked, that’s one reason I can’t probably make a living as a writer.

- That said, you are looking at (the blog of) a food reporter now. Yes, the work I mentioned here has been published in the June 2011 issue of Women’s Weekly Singapore.

Although I have been published before, this felt especially good. The magazine has a readership of over 120,000 just in Singapore and combining my interests in writing and food is practically a dream come true! Looking forward to more assignments in future and maybe even freelancing in this area. 

- I have decided not to try and do everything. To win some, you need to lose some, or even if not that drastic, priorities need to be set. No more trying to do everything and forcing myself to be good at them all, no more trying to please everyone and go out of my way to help people who don’t deserve it, no more cribbing about lack of time (I don’t do it much anyway, I hate that excuse we give ourselves), you get the drift. To put this into practise, I have decided to get someone to work on my recipe blog template. Its high time I changed the look and feel of that site and I am going to be okay even if I pay someone to do it and not learn HTML from scratch and kill myself doing it on my own. 

PS: I am, however, going to continue cribbing about the weather in Singapore, so please bear with me. Its unbearably hot these days since its official summer. The only thing that keeps me going are ripe mangoes that are in season now!

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Water beads May 7, 2011

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As she looked at her sleeping daughter, another sob reached her throat and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand so that the sound won’t wake her up. He is late again tonight. Just like he has been for so many nights in the past that she has lost count. She brought her wrist close to the flickering candle to look at the time again. Almost 2:00am. Its been raining since afternoon and the electricity has been out since morning. She gently placed her hand on her daughter’s knee, glad that they had each other for company. Even with the rain pouring outside, it was humid, and she wiped the bead of sweat on her upper lip with the sleeve of her nightdress. .

Is that the car honking? She quickly rose, grabbing a damp umbrella from behind the front door and slipping on her chappals at the same time. The light from the headlights guided her to the partially opened gate and she threw them both open with all her might. She ran back into the porch as her husband parked the car in the garage and made his way to her, one palm over his head. She looked into his eyes as he mumbled something about the damn rain.

“Since when has the power been gone?” he asked irritably.

She didn’t reply. She didn’t think someone who came in this late without even a phone call to explain, deserved any kind of explanations or answers from her. She briskly walked to the bedroom and lied down beside their daughter.

He came into the room behind her, and without another word, undressed and fumbled into bed. As she turned her back to him and hugged her daughter closer, a tear escaped her eye, not unlike the water slowly dripping from the ends of the umbrella behind the door. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Perspectives May 5, 2011

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Sometimes, there’s this person in your life who means a lot to you. You want them to see things in a certain way,  your way. You try to explain, they don’t get it. You try again. And again. And again.

They try to make you see theirs. That doesn’t work. You think about what you are saying, you become so passionate that your eyes tear up. They still can’t see it. You try again.

Finally you decide to listen to what they are saying. Some of it seems to resonate with you. You try harder to see if you can change your perspective so that there will finally be peace. That doesn’t work. You still feel you need to get your point across. You try again. And again.

Its important that you reach a common decision. Its probably the most important thing in your life right now. You get agitated at this thought and try to bring yourself back to the discussion, try to be rational, try not to be emotional.

It doesn’t work.

You want to hurt this person. For not getting your point, for not agreeing to something which is clearly so good for them. You try to say things that would sting. Its hurts you too. In fact, it hurts you more. You take a step back and strike again. More pain.

The cycle continues. Its just another day.

*Edited to add. This post was inspired by a conversation with a close friend. Its purely a piece of my imagination though, and doesn’t reflect anything going on in anyone’s life.

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber May 3, 2011

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Its ok if you don’t know the people I’ve mentioned in the title. They are both teenage singers who I wasn’t aware of until a couple of months back too.

Rebecca Black is infamous for her supposedly lame song with terrible lyrics, ‘Friday’.

Yes, its pretty bad. The lyrics don’t make sense and its very.. childish.

BUT.

What really amazes me is the amount of hatred thrown at her in the so-called more “social” world. Just because people can hide behind anonymous avatars and usernames, they verbally abuse this 13-year old who sang a bad song and created a YouTube video of it.

Seriously? YouTube is full of bad videos (among good ones). What makes hers the worst? What makes her deserve comments like “cut and die” or “kill yourself” or other profanity more than anyone else with a bad video out there?

Its a mob mentality. Just because a few people idiots people think it feels good to pick on her, they started. Then that became viral and more people joined in because it seemed like the “cool” thing to do. This reminds me of the post on Himesh Reshammiya I wrote long back (OMG – 4 years back!). Its the same thing. Just because there’s a new kid on the block that everyone seems to hate, lets all be cool and hate her too.

Boo!

Its ok to have opinions. Its ok if you don’t like her and think she should stop making more videos. Its ok to even say “this is the worst song I have heard in a long time”. But it can’t be okay to tell a 13-year old to go kill herself, or sleep with your dad, or whatever else seriously deranged people have been commenting on her video.

In a way, all this hatred turned out good for her. She apparently made good money through that single video that everyone hates. She is apparently going to team up with Justin Bieber, another popular teen singer that people love to hate, for her next song.

Well good for them. If they can take all this ridiculous hatred and turn it into an advantage, good.for.them!

Next time you are tempted to post a video to your Facebook status saying how ridiculous it sounds, ask yourself if you are doing it because you really feel that way about the video or because you think that’s the ‘popular’ thing to do. If its the latter, shame on you. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Of Holidays and Such May 3, 2011

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TH and I just back from a 4-day break in Langkawi. The place reminded me so much of Kerala that I expected to see my dad going by on his scooter, or our milkman heading to the first show of the latest Tamil movie, or our neighbour passing by in her white Honda City with fresh vegetables purchased in the nearby market.

Of course, none of that really happened but a girl can dream and imagine.

Before we moved to Singapore, I used to think I am a beach-vacation kinda girl. Its still true, although I wish its not always so darn hot! The weather gets to me. And beaches in this area have no waves. Langkawi was no exception but it was windy and quite nice on the beach this time. We lounged around, read a lot, played on the wii in the hotel recreation centre, had celebratory drinks in an overpriced restaurant overlooking the gorgeous sea. We did ourselves proud!

And of course, as tradition goes, we watched a movie on this vacation too. Thor. Was good. I like blue-grey eyes. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Plain and Simple April 26, 2011

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Sometimes, the answers to some of your questions are so very simple. They probably plague you for days and weeks on end and it could be because you refuse to look at the most basic and simplest of explanations.

Eg: why does someone make no effort to keep in touch with you?

Think no further. The answer, as they say, is plain and simple.

They don’t want to.

And yes, this is a reasonable explanation that doesn’t warrant a second “why?”. Accept and move the hell on. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Dirt Tracks April 18, 2011

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As the waving figures of her mom and dad faded away in the distance, she realised they seemed even more blurred because of the tears in her eyes. She turned around and looked straight ahead at the back of the driver’s head, quickly wiping her eyes and gently blowing into a tissue.

“Madam, nere airport alle?”, he asked in rapid Malayalam.

“Athe“

It seemed to take longer than the usual 45 mins to reach the airport, although traffic was slim and it was a Friday night. She wished she could get some more time in the rented taxi backseat, her last ride in her home country before God knows how long.

The driver effortlessly moved her two large suitcases on to the trolley and hovered around, holding one end of the lungi in his left hand. She took out the crumbled 100 rupee note that her dad had hurriedly pressed into her hand when he realised she wasn’t carrying any money on her. It felt damp and cold. As she passed on the note to the driver, she saw his eyes light up briefly and a smile play at his lips as he did a slight bowing gesture to thank her. Its probably going straight into the cash drawer of some toddy shop.

He did another quick bow, let go of the end of his lungi, and climbed back in. She took the cold handle of the luggage trolley and started towards the automatic doors. Before going in, she turned and looked at the retreating back of the old Ambassador car, wishing she hadn’t so vehemently opposed her parents’ wish to come see her off.

Her vision became blurry. Again. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Lining of silver April 16, 2011

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The past week was terrible work-wise. Terrible because things kept piling on and I just couldn’t finish anything. Too many pies and my finger in everything. Because of the diet, I couldn’t even lick the bloody finger!

On to less depressing things. There was a highlight this week. About 2-3 months back, I had met this editor of Women’s Weekly magazine in an event. We exchanged cards and I briefly remember telling her I write about food. Couple of weeks back, she dropped me an email asking if I’d like to review a new restaurant in town.

Well, D-uh!!

So TH and I went yesterday to this pretty fancy place and had a lovely dinner on the house. TH made a real scene of tasting the tomato soup with the back of his tongue and gave a faraway serious look after taking the first bite of his spaghetti. I was almost tempted to handover the review-writing responsibility to him!

So yeah, the ‘piece’ will come in Women’s Weekly some time in the future. I was warned it will be a small one and whatever I write will be edited, but hey, not complaining. We all have to start somewhere, however small, eh? 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>Better, in more ways than one April 10, 2011

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Thank you so much for the comments and emails guys, I am much better now although the cough and stuffy nose seem to want to stick around a bit longer. That’s ok, I successfully got rid of the fever.

A friend from Hyderabad whom I hadn’t seen in ages stopped by today. Each time someone new to Singapore visits us and asks how we like life here, there’s always a pause. We like it on some level but its so maddening on some others. I don’t even know how to explain it anymore except to keep repeating “I hate the weather here, I hate humidity and what it does to my hair – arghh”.

Moving on.

I started on a new diet. If you were around before the big long gap in this blog, then you’d know how I keep going on and off diets. I never do anything extreme like starving myself or only surviving on fruits for 40 days but still I never really stick to it. One of the excuses used to be that its hard to make 2 meals, one for TH and one for me, but hey, life is hard and this is nothing in comparison.

So I’ve started again. Bought ‘the’ book and everything. The ultimate goal is to lose 10kg but the thought slightly scares me. I have no clue how I’ll look if I lose 10kg although I was that weight about 3-4 years back. So I figured I’ll start with 5, see how I look and feel and then go the rest of the way. Either ways, I am confident this diet works. I just need to make sure I stick to it. Have made some compromises to help me along, so let’s see.

Oh and also, we went to see the movie Limitless today. Although I wasn’t perfect health-wise, we had to. We had coupons that were a year old and were expiring in another 3 days. I know, we like living on the edge. About the movie, its a nice watch. I quite enjoyed it. 

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.

>A humble(r) me April 9, 2011

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I am arrogant. I know it and for the most part, I don’t think its a ‘problem’. But more than the arrogance part, I am image-conscious. I can’t take it if people don’t like me. Now that is a problem. Like TH often says again and again (and again!), its impossible to have everyone like you.

Well, I think I managed pretty well (I could’ve been totally wrong of course) until I reached the magic number of people-I-know and the scales tipped. Now, I can’t claim that everyone I know likes me. Mind you, I am using ‘like’ as a loose term here, just to mean the opposite of dislike or hate.

The good thing is, I’ve come to realise TH is right. Its ok to have a few people who don’t think that great of you. Or even can’t stand you. I have a few people I feel that way about and for all you know, they are perfectly good human beings.

Its liberating to accept this.

I have to admit it took me ages. I have always tried to be good to people, never consciously saying or doing stuff that would hurt them. Always tried to help where I can, empathize in my own way, accept them with their quirks and negatives. In spite of it, it sucked to realise I have fallen short somewhere, said something that inadvertently hurt someone, been mean without meaning to (heh). But, its ok. Its all ok.

So what have you taught yourself in the past year?

For more posts, visit my blog at www.thewayialwayswas.blogspot.com.