We have had three maids since we came to Hyderabad. I had been amazed at how cheap it is to get domestic help here compared to back home in Kerala. Mom was paying 600 rupees for a maid who just came in to sweep and mop the floor and wash clothes (the heavy ones went into the washing machine anyway). This is in addition to the 1500 rupees she paid Mary who has been with us since before I was born. So I was all excited about it when we decided to rent out an apartment.
Our first maid was Swaroopa. Actually Dhanya had her when we moved in with her. If you are tamil or if you watch tamil movies, then you surely would know the joke in Maayi where Vadivelu goes to see a girl and her dad goes ‘Maappile vandirukkaake.. mappile Mokkachaami vandirukkaake, matrum.. nam uravinarkal ellorum vandirukkaake. vaamma Minnal’. (Sorry, I really can’t translate this!) So the idea is, this guy goes to see a girl and she whisks by twice like a Minnal (which means lightning). Swaroopa was like that. The moment you open the door, she would whisk to the laundry bag and in a flash, the dripping wet clothes are hanging to dry. She rushes into the kitchen, 5 minutes and a lot of noise later, the pots and pans are clean (supposedly). She takes the broom, makes it go all four directions, sometimes touching the floor, sometimes not. And, she is done!
Swaroopa made me bring out all my managerial skills if any, from textbooks, past experiences of watching amma do stuff, and everything else short of Googling on ‘how to manager your maid effectively’.
I fired Swaroopa on a fine Saturday morning. She came in after five days of vacation (which she never told us about) and I had had enough. I don’t even remember if I asked Prats and D if I may, but I did anyway. She yelled at me in Telugu, she refused to go and finally cried. Of course I empathised with her. Where else can she get 450 rupees, leftover dinner every morning and the luxury of no nagging mothers (who I totally respect).
Exit Swaroopa and enter Shahina.
Shahina is the most soft-spoken, patient and proactive maid I have ever seen. She did an awesome job of cleaning up all the grime Swaroopa had refused to acknowledge. We loved her!
After a couple of months, Prats and I moved out to an apartment close by. We asked Shahina if she could come to our place too and she readily agreed. We are nice people you know. Moreover, we had given her loads of clothes when we were packing to shift. So she was grateful and she liked us. Life was good.
And then it happened. The inevitable question ‘didi, paanch sou rupaye chahiye’ with the due scratch on head and sheepish grin, that too when there are clearly ten days left to the end of the month. We gave it to her, in the condition that we slash 100 bucks every month. She agreed and the slashing started. Two months later, just before my family’s visit, she stopped coming. To be fair, she had Chicken Gunya (Wikipedia says I can also spell it this way!)
Enter Lakshmi.
I never judge a person by his/her looks. Some have challenged me no end but she takes the cherry. The moment I saw her I felt she was going to do a terrible job, take more leaves than Swaroopa (if that’s possible) and rob us blind. Four months later, I realised today that I was right on all counts.
I foresee some weekends of washing clothes, cleaning vessels and sweeping and mopping and what not. Wish me luck!
I had a really really good time and didn’t want to come back. Now that I am back, I am glad I am back. Yes I am weird. No I am not ashamed of saying it. Yes I am grinning now 
